


the talon group chat is a disaster

by yesitsalsoagun



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Memes, Mentions of Anime, Mentions of McGenji, Spiders, Swearing, everyone is gay and getting gayer by the second, groupchat fic, i do not know how groupchats work but im trying, lots of memes, mentions of animal death, mentions of oc/canon, mentions of symbra, vespa has depression, widow has depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesitsalsoagun/pseuds/yesitsalsoagun
Summary: There are two Talon group chats.The first is professional and addresses legitimate concerns including Talon bases, missions, and agents.The second is the one with four disasters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> to clear up any confusion now:  
> bees? is my oc, Vespa | Melissa Barrett  
> hot damn is my sister's oc, Firebird/Phoenix

**bees?**  Today at 11:35 pm

                hi fire extinguishers are w h er e

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:35 pm

                asfdsgfh you good?????

**bees?** Today at 11:36 pm

                no theres fire n its growing please he lp

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:36 pm

                lmao what happened??

**bees?** Today at 11:36 pm

                she sneEZED,

**hot damn** Today at 11:37 pm

                it was an accident :(

**bees?** Today at 11:37 pm

                SAD FACES DO NOT PUT OUT FIRES

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 11:38 pm

                Supply closet, end of the hall. Three doors down from your room.

**hot damn** Today at 11:38 pm

                whose room

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 11:38 pm

                The one you’re in now.

**bees?** Today at 11:38 pm

                dsajfdgsfh did u use ur fucking visor to see where we are

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 11:39 pm

                …

                Perhaps

**bees?** Today at 11:39 pm

                jsafdgfh ur so fcuking ominous u know that

                anyway bird went to go grab it I hope u aren’t wrong

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 11:40 pm

                I’m not.

**bees?** Today at 11:40 pm

                hm

**hackervoice: im gay** at 11:40 pm

                press x to doubt

**bees?** Today at 11:40 pm

                x

                seriously tho

                my life is in your fucking hands guillard

**hackervoice: im gay** at 11:50 pm

                you guys good

                ??

                hello?? bitch are you good??

**bees?** Today at 11:51 pm

                not dead

                thanks guillard

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 11:51 pm

                You’re welcome

**bees?** Today at 11:52 pm

                fires gone but jsdfdgfh that was a fucking ride

**hot damn** Today at 11:52 pm

                :(

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:52 pm

                thats good

                thought we were gonna have to call a hot firefighter

                _@bees?_ ;)

**bees?** Today at 11:53 pm

                asdsgfhd shut,,,

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:53 pm

                ;))))))

**hot damn** Today at 11:54 pm

                ????

**bees?** Today at 11:54 pm

                dont worry abt it

                what u SHOULD worry abt is ur ability to use a fire extinguisher

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:55 pm

                ???

**bees?** Today at 11:55 pm

                guess what she did when she ran in here

                guess

**hot damn** Today at 11:56 pm

                :(

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:56 pm

                bird do you wanna share with the class

**hot damn** Today at 11:57 pm

                ….no

**bees?** Today at 11:57 pm

_she threw the fire extinguisher at the fire_

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:58 pm

                SAFSDG,FH,,FGH,??

                DID U REALLY

**hot damn** Today at 11:59 pm

                ….

                :|

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 11:59 pm

                SDJAFDSGFHDGJHASDDFH

**bees?** Today at 11:59 pm

                HAVE YOU NEVER USED A FIRE EXTINGUISHER BEFORE,,,

**hot damn** Today at 12:00 am

                guess I never really needed to?

                Like, i never used one before getting all this and now im basically immune to fire so

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:01 am

                OKAY BUT THROWING IT AT THE FIRE,,,

                SFDSFHDF BIRD, ,,,,

**bees?** Today at 12:02 am

                can u blame her,,,, she was rich

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:02 am

                ASAFSDG,FD

**hot damn** Today at 12:02 am

                fsdfddgghgdsd

                fuck off vespa

**bees?** Today at 12:03 am

                u fucking deserve this one bird

                im right and I should say it

**hot damn** Today at 12:03 am

                gfjgjhfdg,gf,

                fair

**bees?** Today at 12:03 am

                fuck that brings up a good question

                _@spiders can hold 8 guns at once_ do u know how to use a fire extinguisher

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 12:04 am

                …

**bees?** Today at 12:04 am

                ??????

                HELLO????

                W

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:05 am

                widow fuckinng killed her before she could finish

**hot damn** Today at 12:06 am

                LMAOOOO

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:06 am

                press f to pay respects

**hot damn** Today at 12:06 am

                f

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:07 am

                f

**hot damn** Today at 12:07 am

                ffffffffffffff

                this just occurred to me

                _@spiders can hold 8 guns at once_ how do they walk

**spiders can hold 8 guns at once** Today at 12:08 am

                …

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:08 am

                damb,, bird out here asking the real questions

**spiders can hold 7 guns at once** Today at 12:09 am

                Interesting

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:09 am

                JSAFDGJHFSDGSFASGDHF,,

**bees?** Today at 12:10 am

                ASFGDSHF,GS,D FUC K

                ARE THEY JUST HOPPING ALONG ON ONE LEG,,,

                I NEED ANSWERS

**spiders can hold one gun and shoot you dead, barrett** Today at 12:11 am

                _Interesting_

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:11 am

                JASFGDSAFG,DHFGGHH,

                IM FCUGKI N,,,,

**hot damn** Today at 12:12 am

                sajfgdsfhd rest in peace vespa

**bees?** Today at 12:12 am

                ASGDHFDJGFHFGHDGDSFS,S,DFH,G,,,,,

                IM WHEEZING,,

                If I die on my next mission,,, yall know what happened

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:13 am

                no u cant die u owe me money

**bees?** Today at 12:13 am

                ??????? no I dont????????

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:14 am

                doubt.jpg

                u owe me 13 cents

**bees?** Today at 12:14 am

                shut the fuck ,,,,

                where am I gonna get 13 cents, sombra

**hot damn** Today at 12:14 am

                fountain at the mall

                everyone throws their money in there

**bees?** Today at 12:15 am

                HOLY SHIT,,

                YES

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:15 am

                holy shit

**bees?** Today at 12:15 am

                that sounds like so much fun not gonna lie

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:15 am

                it does,,,

                mel take me to the mall I wanna do that

**bees?** Today at 12:16 am

                ?? why do u need me to take u

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:16 am

                Im a cant drive gay

**bees?** Today at 12:16 am

                thats fair

                alright ill take you tomorrow. Will my debt be paid

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:17 am

                if ur my getaway driver when the mall cops come for us then hell yea

**bees?** Today at 12:17 am

                asdgshfdg

                I would fight 30 mall cops for u

                partially bc im dedicated and partially bc I wanna fight 30 mall cops

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 12:18 am

                JSFDGDFHG,H,,

                GOOD TO KNOW,,,,

**bees?** Today at 12:18 am

                fuck yea


	2. Chapter 2

**bees?** Today at 3:38 pm

                _@hot damn_ I hope ur fucking happy

**hot damn** Today at 3:39 pm

                D:

                ????

**bees?** Today at 3:39 pm

                doomfist found out abt our mall adventure

                well. _my_ mall adventure. idk if he talked to u _@hackervoice: im gay_

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:40 pm

                ;)

**bees?** Today at 3:40 pm

                thats a no

                anyway he asked me why i fought 38 mall cops

                and I fukcing panicked and said “through conflict humanity is made stronger”

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:41 pm

                SASGDSHFD,F,

                DID U REALLY

**bees?** Today at 3:41 pm

                YES

                I THINK HE MIGHT BE PLANNING TO KILL ME IM NOT SURE,,

**hot damn** Today at 3:42 pm

                what does this have to do with me

**bees?** Today at 3:42 pm

                IT WAS UR IDEA

**hot damn** Today at 3:42 pm

                fighting 38 mall cops was _my_ idea???????????

**bees?** Today at 3:43 pm

                well. no

                but the grabbing money from the fountain was

                n it sorta snowballed from there so

**spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 3:44 pm

                Why would you even fight 38 mall cops in the first place

**bees?** Today at 3:44 pm

                because I fucking COULD, guillard

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:44pm

                it was kinda terrifying

**bees?** Today at 3:45 pm

                what were u expecting

                malls are pvp zones

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:45 pm

                SDAFDSGFDHGHfS,AFDGDFH,FG

**hot damn** Today at 3:45 pm

                lmaoo

**bees?** Today at 3:46 pm

                anyway my debt is paid that’s all that matters

**hot damn** Today at 3:46 pm

                are u banned from that mall now

**bees?** Today at 3:46 pm

                oh for sure

                add that one to the list of malls im banned from

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:47 pm

                ???

                YOU HAVE A LIST???

                HOW MANY MALLS ARE YOU BANNED FROM

**bees?** Today at 3:47 pm

                a lot

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:47 pm

                asfdgdfhgf VESPA,,

**bees?** Today at 3:48 pm

                malls are pvp zones I told u

**hot damn** Today at 3:48 pm

                im never going to a mall with you

**bees?** Today at 3:48 pm

                fair

                anyway

                is doomfist going to kill me? more at 11

**spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 3:49 pm

                He wouldn’t kill you over that

                He might demote you, but not kill you

**bees?** Today at 3:49 pm

                that is a fucking relief

                wait did u say demote me

                fuck

**hot damn** Today at 3:50 pm

                vespa I cant believe you’re gonna be a grunt  :(

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:50 pm

                yikes,, kicked out of the club :/

                ur gonna get killed by an ovw agent when they infiltrate one of our bases

**bees?** Today at 3:50 pm

                fuck

                i didnt use the suit tho so like? it wasnt a waste of talon resources

                i think I just disappointed him

**hot damn** Today at 3:51 pm

                he thought u could fight more than that

**bees?** Today at 3:51 pm

                ASFDGDHGFHDGS,FHD,,FJ

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:52 pm

                asfdgsfhsgfdasfdgfh

**bees?** Today 3:52 pm

                DO YOU THINK IF I FOUGHT EVERY MALL COP ON STAFF I WOULD GET A RAISE,

                PERSONAL RECOGNITION FROM DOOMFIST HIMSELF,

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:53 pm

                only one way to find out

**bees?** Today at 3:53 pm

                adsfdsgfhgghfdgdd

                hey youtube this is my “how to get banned from every mall” speed run

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:53 pm

                SAFDGSHFDGS,D,FH,G,,,,

**hot damn** Today at 3:53 pm

                DSFGFHDGDSSDF

**bees?** Today at 3:54 pm

                what do I do after I get banned from every mall

                like. do I try to get banned from something else

**hackervoice: im gay** Todat at 3:54 pm

                thinking emoji

**hot damn** Today at 3:55 pm

                I got banned from an arcade in hanamura once

**bees?** Today at 3:55 pm

                ????????????

                you did????????????

**hot damn** Today at 3:55 pm

                yep

**bees?** Today at 3:56 pm

                what did u do??????????

**hot damn** Today at 3:56 pm

                there was a limited edition pachimari plush that I wanted but couldnt win

                the friends I was with broke the machine to get it for me

**bees?** Today at 3:57 pm

                afdsgfhfgjg oh

                I knew u couldnt do anything that someone would ban u for

                did u get to keep the plush?

**hot damn** Today at 3:57 pm

                oh yea

                they handed it to me and we ran like hell with some guy yelling behind us

                I still have it

**bees?** Today at 3:58 pm

                thats so wholesome

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:59 pm

                hi so I looked up arcades in hanamura to see which one u got banned from

**hot damn** Today at 3:59 pm

                no

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:59 pm

                and uh???????????

                _CELANDINE VON BRANDT??????????????????_

**hot damn** Today at 3:59 pm

                NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**bees?** Today at 4:00 pm

                ???????????????

                WHOMST THE FUCK,,

**hot damn** Today at 4:00 pm

                FUCK U SOMBRA,,

**bees?** Today at 4:00 pm

                THATS U??????????????

                ????????????

                I KNEW U WERE RICH BUT

                IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT U MIGHT HAVE A RICH PERSON NAME,, FUCK

**hot damn** Today at 4:01 pm

                >:(

                this is why I dont go by my birth name

**celandine von** **Brandt** Today at 4:01 pm

                oh yea you go by avis eld huh

**hot damn** Today at 4:01 pm

                sombra why

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:02 pm

                celandine von brandt,,,,

**hot damn** Today at 4:02 pm

                VESPA WHY

**Celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:02 pm

                I can understand why you don’t want to go by your birth name

**hot damn** Today at 4:02 pm

                WIDOW U TOO

                I CANNT TRUST ANY OF YOU HUH

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:03 pm

                bird I would kill for u but this is too good to pass up

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:03 pm

                also I saw a pic of your two friends who got banned too

                surprised the arcade was able to ban them ;)

**hot damn** Today at 4:03 pm

                …

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:04 pm

                doomfist would probably want to use that if he knew

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:04 pm

                dammit sombra we said no blackmailing in the groupchat

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:04 pm

                oh shit we did huh

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:05 pm

                plus if u blackmail bird I am legally allowed to fight u to defend her honor

**hot damn** Today at 4:05 pm

                …

                he wouldnt come even if I asked

                and I dont know enough about them to give any info, even if I wanted to

                that was years ago

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:06 pm

                ,,

                alright

                just wanted to make sure you knew

                idk what he’ll do if he finds out you were hiding it. might wanna get that excuse solidified

**hot damn** Today at 4:07 pm

                …

                thanks

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:07 pm

                why is everyone in this chat so fucking cryptic

                am I the only one who speaks like a normal human being

**hot damn** Today at 4:08 pm

                you just have nothing to hide

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:08 pm

                well,,, almost nothing

                ;)

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:09 pm

                hey everyone

                I have a gf

**hot damn** Today at 4:09 pm

                :O congrats!

**Celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:09 pm

                Congratulations

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:10 pm

                shes an ovw agent

                also sombras dating that vishkar lady

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:10 pm

                BITCH

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:10 pm

                now I have nothing to hide

**hot damn** Today at 4:11 pm

                holy shit

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:11 pm

                what happens in the chat stays in the chat

                yall bring up mine or sombras gf

                im throwing hands

                or knives

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:12 pm

                did u just expose me and then offer to fight for me

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:12 pm

                yea

                thats how I do

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:13 pm

                that’s,,,,, almost touching

                except for the part where u EXPOSED MY LOVE LIFE,,

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:13 pm

                that’s what happens when u blackmail in the groupchat homey

**celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:20 pm

                nice

**celandine von brandt** Today at 4:20 pm

                nice

**Celandine von Brandt** Today at 4:20 pm

                Nice

**hot damn** Today at 4:20 pm

                NICE


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? projecting on my oc? its more likely than u think

**bees?** Today at 5:02 pm

                guys

                I think I have depression??

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:02 pm

                lmao yea

                took u long enough to figure it out

 **bees?** Today at 5:02 pm

                ?????

                u knew???????????

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:03 pm

                yea?????

                u stay in ur room/bed unless u have to leave

                u get ridiculously happy when ur fighting but don’t really care abt anything else

                you care abt ur friends n knives more than ur own life

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:03 pm

                You don’t eat sometimes

 **hot damn** Today at 5:04 pm

                ur always saying ur in pain/aching

                when u had a severe injury and thought u couldn’t fight u said u couldn’t see a point to living

 **bees?** Today at 5:05 pm

                ,,,,

                ????????????

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:05 pm

                you got hurt on a mission and immediately accepted no one was coming to help you

                you kept trying to get reaper to leave you behind

 **bees?** Today at 5:06 pm

                ????????????????????

                bitch,, , waht the fuck

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:06 pm

                oh shit

 **hot damn** Today at 5:06 pm

                ??

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:07 pm

                was lookin up more Receipts™ and,

                vespa

                u joined talon at 18??????

 **depression?** Today at 5:07 pm

                yea

 **hot damn** Today at 5:07 pm

                ????????????????

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:08 pm

                How long ago was that

 **depression?** Today at 5:08 pm

                ,,,,,,

                10 years ago

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:08 pm

                HOLY SHIT?????

                BABY,,

 **hot damn** Today at 5:09 pm

                BABY!

 **depression?** Today at 5:09 pm

                IM 28,,,

                IM AN ADULT

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:09 pm

                Baby

 **depression?** Today at 5:10 pm

                HHH

 **hackervoice: im gay** changed the group chat name to **baby! in the group chat**

 **hot damn** Today at 5:10 pm

                ASFDGFDHGF

 **depression?** Today at 5:10 pm

                IM TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN U

                TWO (2)

 **hot damn** Today at 5:11 pm

                No wonder ur so short :’)

 **depression?** Today at 5:11 pm

                I hate you guys

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:12 pm

                babey

 **depression?** Today at 5:12 pm

                h a t e

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:12 pm

                yea w/e uve taken like 6 bullets for me

 **hot damn** Today at 5:13 pm

                oh yea back to the subject of vespa’s depression

 **depression?** Today at 5:13 pm

                yea wtf am I supposed to do abt it lmao

                its not like talon offers medical insurance

                their health plan is basically. dont die. let moira experiment on u

                widow I know u don’t exactly. go to anyone for urs but. any tips

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:14 pm

                Make a schedule/routine and stick to it

                Don’t neglect eating

                Do things that make you feel alive

 **hot damn** Today at 5:14 pm

                and I know talon isn’t exactly a shining beacon of mental health but

                if you’re feeling down you can talk to us

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:15 pm

                yea weve all got problems here

                wouldn’t be in talon if we didnt

 **depression?** Today at 5:15 pm

                oof ouch the edge

                in all seriousness though… thanks you guys

 **hot damn** Today at 5:16 pm

                <3

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:16 pm

                Anytime

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:16 pm

                ovw gf solidarity

 **depression?** Today at 5:16 pm

                ovw gf solidarity!!

 **hot damn** Today at 5:17 pm

                speaking of ovw relationships

 **depression?** Today at 5:17 pm

                oh my god???????????

                BIRD U TOO???????????

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:17 pm

                at this point were all gonna get kicked out of talon

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:18 pm

                Not surprising

 **hot damn** Today at 5:18 pm

                sdfdgdffgf you GUYS

                im not…seeing him I just saw him

                …

                like. on the battlefield. and we may have. talked

 **depression?** Today at 5:18 pm

                my first date was on the battlefield too

                fights are romantic

 **hot damn** Today at 5:19 pm

                IT WASN’T A DATE

 **depression?** Today at 5:19 pm

                sure

                ;)

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:19 pm

                ;)

 **depression?** Today at 5:20 pm

                wait

                which of the two did u meet

                u aren’t dating one of reapers boys are you

                bc I think he would be pissed

 **hot damn** Today at 5:20 pm

                _im not dating anybody vespa_

                and besides I think theyre dating each other?

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:20 pm

                vespa did u call them “boys”

                theyre both older than you

 **depression?** Today at 5:21 pm

                yea but theyre… reapers…like. kids

                his boys

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:21 pm

                need you be reminded of the groupchat name

 **depression?** Today at 5:21 pm

                no im sure ur gonna call me a baby for the next week

                anyway

                bird if ur not dating either of those two who are u dating

 **hot damn** Today at 5:22 pm

                im n o t

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:22 pm

                oh damn

                he aged well huh

 **hot damn** Today at 5:22 pm

                SH  UT

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:23 pm

                ;)))))))))))

 **depression?** Today at 5:23 pm

                send me a pic send me a pic

 **hot damn** Today at 5:23 pm

                do N O T

 **depression?** Today at 5:26 pm

                ah

                im gay as hell but bird I think I understand

 **hot damn** Today at 5:27 pm

                I hate this groupchat

 **depression?** Today at 5:27 pm

                I mean if u had to date a member of ovw

 **hot damn** Today at 5:27 pm

                WERE NOT DATING

 **hackervoice: im gay** Todady at 5:28 pm

                would you LIKE TO BE

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:28 pm

                This group chat is a disaster

 **depression?** Today at 5:28 pm

                widow ur the last one

                if you had to date a member of ovw who would it be

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:29 pm

                …

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:29 pm

                vespa u are absolutely gonna die

 **depression?** Today at 5:29 pm

                good

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:30 pm

                wait fuck,,, no

 **spiders can hold as many guns as they want** Today at 5:30 pm

                I’d have to think about it

                Give me some time

 **depression?** Today at 5:30 pm

                holy shit

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:31 pm

                holy shit

 **hot damn** Today at 5:31 pm

                why are we like this

                were all going to get kicked out of talon

 **depression?** Today at 5:31 pm

                ooooh nooooo

                what a disaster,,,,

                there would be nothing keeping us from openly dating ovw agents

                how horrible,,,

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:32 pm

                asfdsgfhdghfgd

                okay but seriously I don’t want to get kicked out just yet

                still have things I want to do

 **depression?** Today at 5:32 pm

                serious things or uploading a virus on moira’s computer things

 **hackervoice: im gay** Today at 5:32 pm

                ,,, both

 **depression?** Today at 5:33 pm

                alright

                just remember

                moira leaves to get coffee at 0545 and doesn’t come back for a good half hour or more


	4. Chapter 4

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 7:42 am

                LMAO GUESS WHAT

  **bees?** Today at 7:42 am

                eyes emoji

**spiders can date overwatch agents if they want** Today at 7:42 am

                ?

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 7:43 am

                so I used ur advice _@bees?_

                and I WAS going to upload a virus on o’deorain’s computer but I found something even better

**bees?** Today at 7:43 pm

                reaper’s credit card

**hackervoice: im gay** Tody at 7:43 pm

                not THAT good

                I found a list of a fuckton of her favorite animes

**hot damn** Today at 7:44 pm

                oh no

**bees?** Today at 7:44 pm

                holy shit

                her secret narutos,,,,,,,,,,,

**spiders can date overwatch agents if they want** Today at 7:44 pm

                Bird are you alright

**hot damn** Today at 7:45 pm

                anime is illegal

**bees?** Today at 7:45 pm

                we are all literally a part of talon

                a known terrorist organization

                and ur concerned abt anime

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 7:46 pm

                she’s just trying to cover up the fact that she binged all of ohshc last thursday

**hot damn** Today at 7:46 pm

                SOMBRA WHY

**bees?** Today at 7:46 pm

                yea bitch I was trying to cover it up too we were binging together

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 7:47 pm   

                WH

                HELLO???

                we could watch anime on a regular basis but you guys are just being selfish I see

**spiders can date overwatch agents if they want** Today at 7:47 pm

                No

                Anime is illegal

**bees?** Today at 7:48 pm

                you know whats NOT illegal

                fullmetal alchemist

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 7:48

                FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

**spiders can date overwatch agents if they want** Today at 7:48 pm

                Fullmetal Alchemist…

**hot damn** Today at 7:48 pm

                fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

**fma?** Today at 7:48 pm

                FUCK anime watch fma

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:49 pm

                good advice

**hot damn** Today at 7:49 pm

                was fma on moira’s list

**hackeroice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:49 pm

                uhhh I don’t remember hold on

                I know naruto was

**fma?** Today at 7:49 pm

                you mean waruto’s grandfather

**hot damn** Today at 7:50 pm

                LMAOOOO

**fma?** Today at 7:50 pm

                as terrible as the naming in that family/anime was it coulve been a lot worse

                like. there were theories after boruto ended

                that the next one would be following the movement across the keyboard

                it started with n, then b, so that means

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:50 pm

                VORUTO

**hot damn** Today at 7:51 pm

                N O

**fma?** Today at 7:51 pm

                SFDGDFHGHGFFDSGDFHGFH

                IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:53 pm

                sorry guys this list is fucking enormous

                theres like five billion animes on here

**hot damn** Today at 7:53 pm

                wow

                and I thought i was the anime one in this terrorist organization

**fma?** Today at 7:53 pm

                sombra is braver than any ovw marine

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:55 pm

                OKAY its on here

                2003, brotherhood, all of the movies, and that other remake too

**fma?** Today at 7:55 pm

                NICE     

                are there links to sites where we could,,,, watch them,,,

                preferably in hd

                asking for a friend

**hot damn** Today at 7:56 pm

                the friend is me

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:56 pm

                yes there are ;)

                as abysmal as her organization is there are links and they are hd

**fma?** Today at 7:56 pm

                FUCK YES

**hot damn** Today at 7:57 pm

                :D!!!!

                are we watching them now???

**fma?** Today at 7:57 pm

                hell yea

                were doing this

                were making this happen

                widow are u in

**spiders can watch fma** Today at 7:57 pm

                Fuck yes

**fma?** Today at 7:58 pm

                HELL FUCKING YES

**hot damn** Today at 7:58 pm

                ill get popcorn!!

**fma?** Today at 7:58 pm

                BIRD IF YOU GO ANYWHERE NEAR A MICROWAVE ILL FUCKING TACKLE YOU

                BIRD

                OH FUCK

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 7:59 pm

                afdsgfhdgfghgd

**fma?** Today at 8:10 pm

                crisis averted

                bird did not touch the microwave

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 8:10 pm

                oh thank god

**hot damn** Today at 8:11 pm

                sorry :(

                I forgot I was banned from going near it after the Incident

**fma?** Today after 8:11 pm

                how did u forget the Incident

                u almost burned down like half the fucking base

**hot damn** Today at 8:12 pm

                I didnt forget the Incident!!!!

                I just forgot you banned me from the microwave

**fma?** Today at 8:12 pm

                I’ll put up a sign

**hot damn** Today at 8:13 pm

                thank you

**fma?** Today at 8:13 pm

                how the fuck did u survive on ur own

                like I get u were rich but like…da,mb

**hot damn** Today at 8:13 pm

                :(

**fma?** Today at 8:14 pm

                anyway fma

**hackervoice: fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST** Today at 8:14 pm

                FMA

**spiders can watch fma** Today at 8:14 pm

                Fma

**hot damn** Today at 8:14

                FMA!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:36 pm

                hey vespa

**bees?** Today at 2:36 pm

                ?

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:37 pm

                can I borrow one of ur knives

**bees?** Today at 2:37 pm

                absolutely fucking not

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:38 pm

                wow rude

                can I borrow you then?

**bees?** Today at 2:38 pm

                what for

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:39 pm

                theres a bu fdsgufhg

**bees?** Today at 2:41 pm

                ?????????

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:42 pm

                THERES A B U G

**bees?** Today at 2:42 pm

                ah

                do you want me to come take care of it

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:43

                yes please

**bees?** Today at 2:43 pm

                what kind is it

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:44 pm

                I dont know but it’s huge and flying around

                pplease god vespa dont forsake me now

  **bees?** Today at 2:58 pm

                holy shit this is an enormous bug

                he’s wiggling

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 2:58 pm

                thank you please god get rid of him

**bees?** Today at 2:59 pm

                hmmmm

                hey _@spiders said gay rights_ is the bastard hungry

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 2:59 pm

                His name is Baron Cyril Ulysse Guillard III

                And he already ate and has been a bastard so he does not get any treats

**bees?** Today at 3:00 pm

                of course

                little bastard man

                anyone been good today?

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:00 pm

                Yes. Vicomtesse Marion Rosalie Céleste Guillard has been good

**bees?** Today at 3:01 pm

                of course

                she’s an angel

                how’s she doing

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:01 pm

                Fantastique

**bees?** Today at 3:01 pm

                =’’’)

                I dont even know why I asked if little bastard man was hungry

                Vicomtesse Marion Rosalie Céleste Guillard will always have my heart

                Im on my way with this wiggly fool

**hot damn** Today at 3:03 pm

                sombra!!!!

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:03 pm

                bird!!!!!

**hot damn** Today at 3:03 pm

                why didn’t you ask me to come help you? I like bugs =(

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:04 pm

                bird u were napping

                I didn’t wanna disturb u

**hot damn** Today at 3:04 pm

                awwww ur so sweet

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:05 pm

                I know ;)

**hot damn** Today at 3:07 pm

                oh widow!!!

                how are all your spiders doing?

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:09 pm

                Baron Cyril Ulysse Guillard III is a bastard

**hot damn** Today at 3:09

                of course

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:09 pm

                of course

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:10 pm

                Vicomtesse Marion Rosalie Céleste Guillard is an angel and enjoying a snack

                Courtesy of Vespa and Sombra

**bees?** Today at 3:10 pm

                np

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:10 pm

                thank fuck

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:11 pm

                Crêpelé is doing well. I think he misses you

**hot damn** Today at 3:11 pm

                =’’’) my son…..tell him I love him

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:11 pm

                And…regrettably…Chunky has passed

**hackervoice: im gay** Today at 3:12 pm

                CHUNKY???

                NOOOOO

                I LOVED HIM LIKE A SON

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:12 pm

                I know. I’m sorry.

**hackervoice: im sad** changed the group chat name to **RIP Chunky forever in our hearts**

**hot damn** Today at 3:13 pm

                noooo not chunky!!!!

**bees?** Today at 3:13 pm

                he left us too soon

                I’d fight death for chunky to come back

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 3:14 pm

                I know you would vespa ty

                widow are u gonna hold a service for chunky?

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:14 pm

                I am and I would appreciate if you all attended

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 3:14 pm

                of course I will he was my son

**hot damn** Today at 3:15 pm

                yea of course I’ll go!!

**bees?** Today at 3:15 pm

                yea sure thing

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 3:16 pm

                Thank you all. Please join me in my room at 5pm for the service

**hot damn** Today at 11:12 pm

                hey

                sombra are you okay

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:13 pm

                im in mourning

**hot damn** Today at 11:13 pm

                =(

                Im so sorry sombra

                i know he meant a lot to you

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:14 pm

                he did

                I loved him :(

**bees?** Today at 11:14 pm

                he lived a long, fulfilling life though

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:15 pm

                yea I guess he did

                he was older than u vespa

**bees?** Today at 11:15 pm

                that’s fucking wild to think about thanks for that

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 11:16 pm

                Chunky was older than you too, Sombra

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:16 pm

                wow you’re right that is wild to think about

                he was older than ME….who is the parent and who is the child

**bees?** Today at 11:16 pm

                I think he’s still your son

                at least in spirit

**hot damn** Today at 11:17 pm

                yea!!! You adopted him, after all!!!

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:17 pm

                u know what? Ur right I did

                he was a good son. Im going to miss him

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 11:20 pm

                Obviously we both still need time to process and mourn, but if you want, we can go select another spider to fill my vacant tank.

                A Chunky Jr. perhaps?

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:21 pm

                yea ur right I think I still need time to process the loss

                no one can replace him. he was the Chunkiest

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 11:21 pm

                I understand. I didn’t mean to imply that we would replace him.

                Just that when we are ready to move on, we can find something else to love again.

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:22 pm

                yea I gotcha.

                I’ll go with you again. Just give me some time

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 11:22 pm

                Alright. Let me know when.

**hackervoice: im sad** Today at 11:24 pm

                …thanks widow

**spiders said gay rights** Today at 11:24 pm

                Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip chunky forever in our hearts


End file.
